A few random things..

Illness

I’ve caught my first official cold in Bahrain. I blame my co-worker, Tom. I thought two deployments had given me every strain of Middle Eastern illness available, but I was wrong. Still, I have refused to have it hold me back in my attempt to explore the area and make new friends. This past weekend I attended my first large mixer at someone’s villa. It was fairly crowded, but everyone seemed nice. I met two Scottish ladies who seem interested in taking me under their wing. They’ve both been on the island for 8 years, and last night they took me to the British Club. It’s a very laid back atmosphere, and food and drinks are far cheaper than anywhere else in town.

Now on to a few random thoughts…

TV

There are two options for cable here. American Forces Network (AFN) - which used to be called the Armed Forces Network, but apparently that left a bad taste in the mouth; or the local Orbit company. Orbit is a strange package. The first 10 channels are news. I love me some BBC, so I’m quite happy it’s channel 3. There’s also CNN international, Al Jazeera, and some other Asian and European stations. The next 10 channels are sports. The remaining 20+ channels are movies. Not sitcoms, movies. There’s the action station, the hallmark movie channel, Fox movies, and a couple of random Arab movies. All of the shows at least have Arabic subtitles, a lot are full Arabic, but the strange part is the 50/50. Some stations are English stations, but the advertisements for new shows or movies are spoken in Arabic. For example: imagine a preview for a new movie “Thursday night, tune in to see Casino Royal, 6pm!” and then they’ll have a clip from the movie where someone says something important “Bond, James Bond” … but how it works here is “(Arabic) (Arabic) (Arabic) Bond, James Bond (Arabic) (Arabic).” For some TV shows it gets pretty entertaining. The Arabic announcer is usually very masculine sounding, deep throated, and then something like “Spongebob Square Pants!” will be thrown in.

I’ve attempted to watch a few of the Arab movies, and I’ve seen some interesting things. There’s one movie … or, I THINK it’s a movie, I’ve never watched it all the way through, so it could be a sitcom … but I call it “The Tent Movie” because it’s about a nomadic tribe, and they’re always outside their tents. I think the theme of it is two rival tribes and the relationships within them. Sure, it sounds interesting, but it’s incredibly boring (hence, never having seen it all the way through). I usually get fed up after 15 minutes of watching the women attempt to talk sense into the men, and then the men say something domineering and the women go hide in their corners. For example, today the matriarch of the tribe stopped a big battle where everyone was going to die, and her husband tells her she’s wrong, and to go back to the tent otherwise he’ll divorce her. Sigh…

Then there’s “Indian Singing to Western Woman” … it’s pretty self explanatory. It’s a black and white film from the 50s where this Indian worker is hiding behind screens and singing to a western woman who’s staying in the hotel. She smiles at him, but doesn’t say anything, and then they’re off in his car .. He’s still singing. I should probably have finished it, if only to know how to react to any randomly singing workers poolside.

Poolside

Now, on to the story of the week. Well, it happened last weekend, and I was hesitant to write about it.. But here it goes.

I went to the gym last weekend, then decided to partake of the cooled pool and sat out there for about 1.5 hours without anyone bothering me. It was just me, my iPod, a book, and a few other people lounging nearby - quite serious sunbathers, Speedo and all. Well, this guy, Mark, was at the pool for a while too, and as he was getting ready to leave he comes over to me and sits down on the spare chair and starts chatting. He just asks the basics - where am I from how long am I here, etc - nothing too horrible and I'm not instantly freaked out. I'm thinking "ok, TDY is lonely, maybe he just wants to chat". Then he's done tying his his shoes and says that I can come down and watch a movie with him if i get bored, have a drink, or "ya know" with a big grin and wink. He then told me his room number and left. I was in shock. Did that really happen? Did he just offer to "ya know" with me? Ewww!

Two minutes later another man shows up - Italian looking. I'd seen him at the pool the day before where we'd said a few words to eachother, he seemed nice - he lost his left leg (so I thought maybe a bit more humble about the world), and he was quite attractive. Plus I'm thinking after "ya know" it would be nice to have a conversation with a more humble and decent guy. I waved him over, introduce myself and he says his name is Romeo (seriously?), and It's all downhill from there. He has a HORRIBLE redneck accent (which wasn't there yesterday!) and goes on and on about Islam and how stupid it is (yeah, SO improper considering where we are). Then he talks about Ramadan and what it says about ejaculation (yeah! "ejaculation!" WHO TALKS ABOUT THIS TO A WOMAN THEY'VE JUST MET?!). He also mentions he's married, but he and his wife have a VERY open relationship and he can do as he wants while away, just like she can (suuuuure)!. By this point I'm thinking to myself "Is this all real, or is there a hidden camera??" and the crazy laugh ensues inside my head. I find a reason to call it a day and he offers me the chance (nay, privelage) to partake in a drink in his room later...

Get this. Romeo and Mark are in the same room. At least they keep all the douchbags confined to the same area. Maybe I'll get lucky and a fire will spread in that wing.

I can only imagine what the conversation was that night; Romeo says: "Dude, I met this hot chick at the pool, gave her my room number, so if she comes by she's looking for me"
Mark replies, "Dude, I did the same thing"
"I think my girl's name was Karen"
"Oh, that's ok, my girl's name was Sarah"

Yeah.. neither of them remembered my name as we parted ways

... so I'm starting a spreadsheet on how I've been hit on since arriving. There are categories such as "chance in hell it would have happened," "pick up line used," and "estimated age" to name a few. Romeo and Mark were the worst two, and really everyone else has been nice ... but it should make for some interesting pie charts.

More on that at a later date!

Economic Tiers

The adjustment to my new life has been very easy and (surprisingly) without stress. I currently have no “home life” as I’m working full days and returning to the hotel only for enough time to workout, shower, and get ready to go out for the evening. Tonight is my first night to do absolutely nothing. I plan to order room service, watch a movie, enjoy a drink, and wash it all down with some Sleep Aid. The jet lag hasn’t been bad, but I’d like to wipe the rest of it out tonight.

I also plan to partake of the gym and (possibly) pool on this hot and sunny afternoon (only 39C, 102F). The gym here is quite nice, and I usually have it to myself. It’s located on the rooftop, with a limited view of the outdoor pool. They have free weights, machines, and all sorts of cardio equipment. There are two large LCD TVs with cable TV and the a/c keeps the room cool while the wall-mounted air freshener machines spurt out some flowery sent every 10 minutes. The only problem - the entrance doors to the gym are glass, allowing visitors and workers to walk by and peak in. Sometimes they stop and watch … strange culture. The pool is usually frequented by ex-patriots (aka white people), but being on the roof it’s often very windy and, again, people stop and watch.



I’ve spent countless hours attempting to figure out how things work in this hotel room. There are easy items - such as the strange door lock (seen at left) that consumed my time simply due to curiosity , and more confusing items, like the washing machine which requires an artistic interpretation of pictograms and an understanding of light switches.




By far the most hilarious item in my hotel room is the tub. It was not made for a tall girl. Another inch on my hips and I'd be bathing sideways.


So on to describing Bahrain. There is only one thing that can sell Bahrain to tourists: Photoshop.


Above is an image of the Grand Mosque. I’ve driven by it many times and, having seen a number of Middle Eastern mosques, can tell you it’s quite beautiful. Is it as shiny as this picture portrays? No. This country is composed of sand. Not dirt. Sand. Everything is built on sand and of sand. Trees grow in sand. Therefore, it should be assumed that all buildings are covered in a fine layer of sand, including the Grand Mosque.



As for the shopping, I’ve discovered 3 tiers to the economy. First, there are the poor. They sell items in the streets, usually from the back of their bicycles. They’ll try to convince you to buy a knockoff Rolex and won’t take no for an answer. You can’t argue with them, just ignore them. They’ll have a comeback for every excuse you try to give them. “I don’t need a watch” “well, maybe you don’t need a watch, but maybe your father could use a watch, a gift, no?”

Tier two consists of the venders who operate outside shops or in small trailers along the sidewalk. For example, the man trying to sell food out of a hot dog cart. He probably makes enough to live on, but just barely, so he’ll call out to you and try to get your attention, but he’s not going to chase you down wagging a wiener after you.

The last, and highest tier, is made up of everyone that owns their shop. Sure, maybe they rent the space from someone, but their business is their own - rugs, lamps, hookahs, etc. They’ll wait outside and, in a very nonchalant way, ask if you’d like to come in. No pressure. If you move along they could care less. It’s as though this economy's main goal isn’t to make money (unless you’re starving). It’s more for the prestige of owning a shop. You can haggle for anything, and probably purchase it for less than it’s actually worth. A lot of stores along the roads are out of business and closed for this reason.

I have yet to obtain a rental car. For now I have a few co-workers in the area who will drive me and I can save my $500 a month. Today we drove around a bit - I sat in front with the map, so at least I now know about 1/4 of the city. There are traffic rules, though I don’t think you’d get a ticket for breaking any of them. Actually, someone I know DID get a ticket for speeding, but he said it was about $40. Ha! About 90% of the drivers are aware of their surroundings and stop at signs, drive a normal speed, etc. It’s that 10% (::cough:: Saudi’s) that have no regard for anything. They’ll park in the middle of the road, run lights, you name it. I’ve seen about 3 accidents so far - nothing too bad, just people not stopping at signs, so they're mostly minor. Still, it’s a good thing I learned to drive on California freeways.