A few random things..

Illness

I’ve caught my first official cold in Bahrain. I blame my co-worker, Tom. I thought two deployments had given me every strain of Middle Eastern illness available, but I was wrong. Still, I have refused to have it hold me back in my attempt to explore the area and make new friends. This past weekend I attended my first large mixer at someone’s villa. It was fairly crowded, but everyone seemed nice. I met two Scottish ladies who seem interested in taking me under their wing. They’ve both been on the island for 8 years, and last night they took me to the British Club. It’s a very laid back atmosphere, and food and drinks are far cheaper than anywhere else in town.

Now on to a few random thoughts…

TV

There are two options for cable here. American Forces Network (AFN) - which used to be called the Armed Forces Network, but apparently that left a bad taste in the mouth; or the local Orbit company. Orbit is a strange package. The first 10 channels are news. I love me some BBC, so I’m quite happy it’s channel 3. There’s also CNN international, Al Jazeera, and some other Asian and European stations. The next 10 channels are sports. The remaining 20+ channels are movies. Not sitcoms, movies. There’s the action station, the hallmark movie channel, Fox movies, and a couple of random Arab movies. All of the shows at least have Arabic subtitles, a lot are full Arabic, but the strange part is the 50/50. Some stations are English stations, but the advertisements for new shows or movies are spoken in Arabic. For example: imagine a preview for a new movie “Thursday night, tune in to see Casino Royal, 6pm!” and then they’ll have a clip from the movie where someone says something important “Bond, James Bond” … but how it works here is “(Arabic) (Arabic) (Arabic) Bond, James Bond (Arabic) (Arabic).” For some TV shows it gets pretty entertaining. The Arabic announcer is usually very masculine sounding, deep throated, and then something like “Spongebob Square Pants!” will be thrown in.

I’ve attempted to watch a few of the Arab movies, and I’ve seen some interesting things. There’s one movie … or, I THINK it’s a movie, I’ve never watched it all the way through, so it could be a sitcom … but I call it “The Tent Movie” because it’s about a nomadic tribe, and they’re always outside their tents. I think the theme of it is two rival tribes and the relationships within them. Sure, it sounds interesting, but it’s incredibly boring (hence, never having seen it all the way through). I usually get fed up after 15 minutes of watching the women attempt to talk sense into the men, and then the men say something domineering and the women go hide in their corners. For example, today the matriarch of the tribe stopped a big battle where everyone was going to die, and her husband tells her she’s wrong, and to go back to the tent otherwise he’ll divorce her. Sigh…

Then there’s “Indian Singing to Western Woman” … it’s pretty self explanatory. It’s a black and white film from the 50s where this Indian worker is hiding behind screens and singing to a western woman who’s staying in the hotel. She smiles at him, but doesn’t say anything, and then they’re off in his car .. He’s still singing. I should probably have finished it, if only to know how to react to any randomly singing workers poolside.

Poolside

Now, on to the story of the week. Well, it happened last weekend, and I was hesitant to write about it.. But here it goes.

I went to the gym last weekend, then decided to partake of the cooled pool and sat out there for about 1.5 hours without anyone bothering me. It was just me, my iPod, a book, and a few other people lounging nearby - quite serious sunbathers, Speedo and all. Well, this guy, Mark, was at the pool for a while too, and as he was getting ready to leave he comes over to me and sits down on the spare chair and starts chatting. He just asks the basics - where am I from how long am I here, etc - nothing too horrible and I'm not instantly freaked out. I'm thinking "ok, TDY is lonely, maybe he just wants to chat". Then he's done tying his his shoes and says that I can come down and watch a movie with him if i get bored, have a drink, or "ya know" with a big grin and wink. He then told me his room number and left. I was in shock. Did that really happen? Did he just offer to "ya know" with me? Ewww!

Two minutes later another man shows up - Italian looking. I'd seen him at the pool the day before where we'd said a few words to eachother, he seemed nice - he lost his left leg (so I thought maybe a bit more humble about the world), and he was quite attractive. Plus I'm thinking after "ya know" it would be nice to have a conversation with a more humble and decent guy. I waved him over, introduce myself and he says his name is Romeo (seriously?), and It's all downhill from there. He has a HORRIBLE redneck accent (which wasn't there yesterday!) and goes on and on about Islam and how stupid it is (yeah, SO improper considering where we are). Then he talks about Ramadan and what it says about ejaculation (yeah! "ejaculation!" WHO TALKS ABOUT THIS TO A WOMAN THEY'VE JUST MET?!). He also mentions he's married, but he and his wife have a VERY open relationship and he can do as he wants while away, just like she can (suuuuure)!. By this point I'm thinking to myself "Is this all real, or is there a hidden camera??" and the crazy laugh ensues inside my head. I find a reason to call it a day and he offers me the chance (nay, privelage) to partake in a drink in his room later...

Get this. Romeo and Mark are in the same room. At least they keep all the douchbags confined to the same area. Maybe I'll get lucky and a fire will spread in that wing.

I can only imagine what the conversation was that night; Romeo says: "Dude, I met this hot chick at the pool, gave her my room number, so if she comes by she's looking for me"
Mark replies, "Dude, I did the same thing"
"I think my girl's name was Karen"
"Oh, that's ok, my girl's name was Sarah"

Yeah.. neither of them remembered my name as we parted ways

... so I'm starting a spreadsheet on how I've been hit on since arriving. There are categories such as "chance in hell it would have happened," "pick up line used," and "estimated age" to name a few. Romeo and Mark were the worst two, and really everyone else has been nice ... but it should make for some interesting pie charts.

More on that at a later date!